Emergency Medicine

Zombie First Aid is very similar to triage work, in that it is given very quickly with minimal effort on the part of the responder. There is no labored CPR given here or intensive care, the patient will either make it more or less alone or be euthanized to prevent undue suffering and reanimation.

The goal of a zombie medical responder is to remove life threats and allow the patient a chance to heal under his own power. The primary life threats are airway , and bleeding.

This guide also adresses skeletal injury, gunshot wounds, and visible intrails .

Airway management is a very important component of medical response. Any patient without a patent airway will be dead in minutes.

There are many things that might be wrong with an airway, but the first concern is to put the head in a neutral "sniffing" position. Doing so might cause spinal injury, but any patient with spinal injuries is already a candidate for euthanasia. If the patient does not begin to breath when the airway is open, euthanasia should be considered.

The second airway consideration is somewhat more subtle, though no less deadly. If there is air building up into the area surrounding the lungs from an open wound to the chest the lung can quickly collapse, rendering the patient unable to breath. An occlusive bandage must be used to keep the air out and allow buildup to escape. The bandage should be made of something impermeable to air, such as sheet plastic, tarp or cloth coated heavily in petroleum jelly. The dressing should be secured to the torso with tape (duct tape is fine) on only three sides. The down side (whether the patient will be standing or laying) should be left untaped to allow air and fluid to escape.

Air can also build up from a rupture the inside of the lungs, but treatment is much too involved for most people and is certainly too complex for instruction in such a limited format.

Bleeding is the one of the more dramatic of the traumatic injuries. It is a malfunction of the circulatory system.

Bleeding that can be controlled typically requires nothing more than a dressing pressed firmly onto the wound and elevation above the level of the heart. If this does not work, a tourniquet is the next step. (In the past, instructions have been given out concerning pressure points, but all of that has been retracted due to recent research which shows that cell damage due to tourniquet related hypoxia does not begin for over two hours.)

There are many ways to fashion a tourniquet and there are many commercially available. Probably the best unit is the one currently used by the united states military. It is compact, easy to use with only one hand, reusable, and effective. It is called the "mechanical advantage tourniquet" and costs about $50.

But a unit need not cost much to be effective. Torn cloth for a band and a bayonet for a tightening peg are equally effective, if harder to use.

Ambulances carry disposable tourniquets for installing IV's on patients, which the ambulance operators might be willing to give anyone who asked nicely. They look like rubber ribbons. A blood pressure cuff can also be used as a tourniquet.

The body can bleed from any of the three types of vessels: capillary bleeding is more dangerous in terms of infection; veins typically produce profuse yet easily controlled, steady flow; and arteries produce violent ejaculations of blood. Major arteries typically stop bleeding when there is nothing more to bleed.

But the most dificult type of bleeding to control is largely invisible. Internal bleeding is more dangerous as any of the other types becuase surgury is required for effective control.

In the context of zombies, remember that severe bleeding might be something that the patient might not recover from. Use judgement and prudence.

Skeletal injuries are something that the body heals from very well. Even without expert bone-setting or competent casting, most broken bones will eventually heal with absolutely no treatment whatsoever. Healing may be, however crooked, cockeyed or clumsy.

Bone setting is extremely painful, and consequently is not something that many people will be willing to allow zombie-certified medics to do. Consequently, no procedural description is given here.

The important thing in healing bones is to keep it from moving for several weeks. Medical Professionals do this with very expensive fiberglass-epoxy tape stuff, but it really isn't neccessary. A patient who is diligent in keeping his arm still could use newspaper and duct tape to achieve a very similar effect.

Gunshot Wounds are a major worry, but in actuality differ little from other forms of trauma. Treat symptomaticly, that is treat the sypmtoms: secure airway, stop any bleeding (point blank gunshot wounds may exibit cautery from muzzle flash), and immobilize broken bones. Anything much beyond the aformentioned treatments mark a patient for possible euthanasia in the absence of competent surgury.

One thing peculiar to gunshot wounds is the pattern: a gunshot wound typically follows the form of a cone, with the tip of the cone being the entry wound and cavitation expanding beyond in ever expanding concerntric rings. This is cuased by Hydrostatic Shock

If the bullet remains in the patient, there is a temptation to search for the bullet. However, the search for a slug can cause further damage and might not do much to better the chances of the patient. Lead poisoning can be deadly, but searching for the bullet(s) should wait until the patient is more stable.

Visible Intrails can be particularly disturbing. Unfortunately, little can be done for protruding gut. Attempts to replace intestine can result in blocked gut or internal bleeding. If hope of surgury is viable, the parts should be kept covered and moist with saline solution, but euthanasia may be more kind.